Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Hadoken This

Once I saw a video of a Kiai master posting a challenge that he can beat any Mixed-Martial artists with nothing but his Kiai powers. The same Kiai master even upped the challenged by claiming no one has ever defeated him in over 200 fights. The clip kinda got me hooked, especially when it shows the Kiai master beating fellow martial artists (doubtful) without landing a punch. Alone. In a room full of fighters brandishing sticks.

The Kiai master employed nothing, just his Kiai abilities. Hitting air with frantic screams, his opponents were either sent to the canvas crashing, flying, and landing with their heads shaking frantically like those having an epileptic seizure or in the middle of a demonic possession.

Well, any MMA fighter would be a) amused; b) challenged; or c) insulted. In any case, one did answer the call; a young man which I believe is no more than a pure street brawler.

So they met, signed some kind of contract, and flaunted their goods. Admittedly, I rooted for the Kiai master, with my beliefs that Ryu’s hadoken was not a work of fiction. The first few seconds was electrifying, with the old man whisking his hands as if preparing for a blast of his energy shout.

The shout did come, but there was no energy. Instead, young guy floored him with punches and in instant, delivering traumatic blows to the Kiai master’s head.

Lights out, old man.

The video ended with the Kiai master receiving perhaps the most humiliating beating of his life and registered his first loss in over 200 fights (again, doubtful). I came to realize that: a) hadokens do not exist and b) I am a 24-year old comics nut who still thinks I can create fireballs with my hands.